What Your Usual Order Says About You: A Field Guide to Takeaway Personalities
Photo by Photo by Brooke Balentine on Unsplash on Unsplash
Spend enough time behind a takeaway counter and you start to notice patterns. Not in the orders themselves — those are as varied as the British weather — but in the people placing them. The way someone orders a chicken tikka says as much about them as their Spotify Wrapped. So, purely in the spirit of light-hearted fun, here's our unofficial field guide to the takeaway personalities we know and love. You'll recognise yourself. Everyone does.
The Poppadom Purist
This person has a system, and the system is sacred. Poppadoms first, mango chutney on the left, lime pickle on the right, and heaven help anyone who dips their poppadom in the wrong condiment. They've been ordering the same three dishes since roughly 2004 and they'll tell you, unprompted, that they "know what they like."
And honestly? Fair play. Consistency is a virtue. But here's a gentle nudge from us: the momos won't bite. Start with one order of steamed lamb momos alongside your usual and see what happens. Worst case, you've discovered a new Friday regular. Best case, you've discovered a new Friday regular and you finally have something new to say at dinner parties.
The Momo Missionary
Speaking of which. Every friend group has one. They've been to Nepal once (or watched a lot of YouTube videos about it) and now they simply cannot rest until everyone at the table has tried sekuwa. They order for the whole table without consulting anyone, and nine times out of ten, they're right to.
The Momo Missionary is the reason group orders work at all. They know that a proper Everest feast needs balance — something grilled, something saucy, something with timur pepper that makes your lips tingle pleasantly. If this is you: we salute you. Keep spreading the gospel. Just maybe ask before ordering the extra-hot chilli chicken for your mate who thinks ketchup is spicy.
The Silent Swiper
You'll never meet this person, but you'll see their ghost: the online order placed at 9:47pm on a Tuesday, no notes, no customisations, no fuss. Chicken thukpa. That's it. That's the order.
The Silent Swiper is an enigma and, frankly, an icon. They know exactly what they want, they order it with surgical precision, and they're eating within the half hour while everyone else is still arguing about pizza toppings in the group chat.
The Spice Tourist
"How hot is 'Everest hot', actually?" they ask, eyes gleaming with a confidence that their Thursday morning self will deeply regret. The Spice Tourist treats the chilli scale like a personal challenge, convinced that their tolerance is above average. Sometimes it is. Usually it isn't.
Our advice, given with love: work your way up. Our medium dishes have plenty of character — fragrant, warming, properly spiced — without requiring a pint of milk on standby. The flavour is the point, not the fire. Though if you genuinely do have the palate of a Kathmandu local, we'll happily oblige. Just don't say we didn't warn you.
The Mix-and-Matcher
This customer treats the menu like a puzzle to be solved. Half portion of this, side of that, "can I swap the rice for naan but keep the salad?" They're not being difficult — they're curating. And you know what? The results are usually brilliant. Some of the best combinations we see come from people who refuse to colour inside the lines.
So, Which One Are You?
The beautiful thing about a good takeaway menu is that it rewards both loyalty and curiosity. The Purist and the Missionary can share a table and both leave happy. That's rather the point of a proper feast — there's room for your usual and something new.
Whatever your ordering personality, the kettle's on and the kitchen's ready. Browse the full Everest Dinner menu online, place your order, and let your true colours (mild, medium, or gloriously Himalayan) show. No judgement either way — well, except about the poppadom condiments. There are rules.
